Q. I am reasonably handsome, in very good physical condition and even my ex-girlfriend says I am a great guy. I just read your column in this week’s Lumberjack, and I have a somewhat related question/problem. You see I am able to have intercourse, for well over an hour or even two, without achieving orgasm. I have tried all things to hurry the process along: oral sex, anal sex, different positions, etc, and nothing seems to help. So my question is this: would you share my phone number with your readers?
A. What an interesting dilemma! I was wondering what I was going to do with my life after I quit teaching, and now I think I’ve got it. I’ll become a match-maker!
I’m glad your self-concept isn’t suffering over this. It sounds like you have framed it in the proper perspective. My editor suggests that you check out the Jack Personals to see if you can remedy the lack of partner problem. It doesn’t sound to me like you’d have too much trouble.
I would be remiss in my duties, however, if I didn’t tackle some of the underlying issues in your question. Good sex isn’t enough on which to build a relationship, although it’s certainly easier than to build one around bad sex. You may be the Goddess’ gift to women (or men) in bed, but if you don’t put the seat down, s/he won’t put up with you for long. Good relationships are built around mutual trust, intimacy, and daily uplifts. Those are the things people say and do that increase good feelings in a partnership like remembering to buy flowers for no particular reason, compliments, and thoughtful favors.
The other possibility is that you could be one of the 8-10% of men who have a sexual dysfunction called male inhibited orgasm. Like most sex troubles, it’s only a problem if you and/or your partner(s) have a problem with it, and it doesn’t sound like you do. Should you ever want to be able to orgasm more quickly or easily, let me know and I’ll steer you in the right direction.